Developing Problems

I tried to forget the heart problems I was having after being shut down by a handful of doctors and specialists. However, my symptoms persisted and seemed to worsen over time. I trusted the doctors - there was nothing to worry about, right? At least 5 doctors had told me so - so when the symptoms got bad - particularly at night when trying to go to bed - I just tried to accept that everything was okay and this was just something I would have to live with.

Whether or not it was going to kill me, having your heart do all sorts of weird things while you're trying to go to sleep - and being totally aware of EVERY beat has its own downsides. It's difficult to sleep when you are constantly reminded of your own mortality and that your body contains moving parts that will eventually wear out. I was pretty much an insomniac before, but now its official.

I went a year or two trying to ignore the problems and hoping that eventually they would go away. Then I ran into a symptom I had not experienced before, and this one scared me more than anything.

I was sitting forward at a friends house playing a video game (Halo, if you must know) when all of the sudden it was as if someone had punched me in the head hard enough to nearly knock me out. My head became heavy as lead and I felt as though I would loose consciousness for sure. The episode was so sudden I shook and dropped my controller but it was gone before I could even grab my head. The whole thing lasted less than a second.

Wow, I thought, I've been playing too many video games.

Up until recently, I never thought this symptom was associated with my heart. In fact, I'm still not sure, but we'll get to that.

I went a good long time without ever having that symptom again. I figured it was just too many video games and brain overload.

Then it happened again. And again. And again. All the episodes were spread apart by months, but it seemed to be getting more frequent. I never passed out, but each time it happened I felt as though I would. I thought it must be some mild form of epilepsy because it seemed to happen mostly when I was starring at a computer screen. I worried about it, but not enough to see a doctor.

Eventually, last year it started happening a lot. I mean a lot. I started getting more frequent and then it would go away for a while. Then it would start happening again even more frequent than before. It would come and go in these cycles, and the cycles kept getting closer and closer, and each cycle became worse and worse.

At some points, I would get these episodes several times per day. Sometimes they would be accompanied by general lightheadedness. In fact, one time I was even very lightheaded for almost an entire day. Then, inexplicably the symptoms would disappear - only to return again in a few months or weeks.